Tuesday, August 31, 2004

respect is harder work

What a month - a move (from one tiny Village in Rural Cambridgshire to another not-so-tiny but still not big Village in Rural Cambridgshire) a huge Christian Festival (Greenbelt Arts Festival) and a new impetus to get writing. A bit of a depressing experience recently as well.

What i mean with regards to the new impetus is that i am meant to be a creative writing type, but have been a wee bit lax in the past few months. I've started a book called 'Radical Orthodoxy' but i needs a lot of work, which i have been avoiding. In the past few days a friend has taken on the role of 'arse-kicker' and is motivating me to get on with it. This is a good thing.

The depressing bit is that i was quite hurt by someone i thought a friend being offensive and thoughtless towards me, and dismissing me offhand whilst i was just trying to say 'hi, let's talk'. I know that these blogs have a tendency to get into a certain lacrimosity, but i rather like the idea of the chance of some confessional - i am a priest after all.

Anyway, i came away from that encounter feeling hurt and angry, all because of one statement by a thoughtless and immature person. It was one of those occassions when on walking away you can think of lots of clever responses that would sum up your anger and hurt but you probably wouldn't have achieved anything by it. On reflection i realise the problem was more about his ego and his projections than anything about me and wonder why we do these things to each other. Why can't we just get on a bit?

I guess i am just a bit of a bleeding heart type, but actually i put a lot of effort into compassion, thoughtfulness, truth, honesty and (dare i say it) love. I think it is immeasurably harder to love than to hate, i think it is much more difficult to respect people than it is to insult or demean the, i think that being care-full is much tougher than being careless, and it p*sses me off royally when others take the easy route of abuse and vitriol which i strive so hard to avoid.

Nothing like a rant to clear the system TTFN

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