Friday, September 17, 2004

I could be funny

I realised looking through my previous postings that there is no indication at all of me having a sense of humour

i do, so there

it may not be very obvious, but let me assure you - i have hidden shallows.

Anyway, this is all in order that i can write out this line which i picked up from an advert for a Comedy Club in Cambridge - two days after reading it I still keep laughing at unexpected moments due to this wonderful line from Milton Jones
'When my Grandfather got ill my Grandmother greased his back. After that he went downhill quite quickly'


normal service will be resumed as soon as i get around to it. I am debating whether or not to go to the Greenbelt after festival 'do' in London tonight, but if i was going to go i should really have set off by now.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

thoughts i should have mentioned

Realise that i have left a few threads drifting aimlessly on this blog and profile that i should add a bit more too, or at least promise to add a bit more too, for anyone who might possibly read this and think 'what is that all about??'

Anyway - Greenbelt which i mentioned earlier is a Christian Arts Festival which takes place at Cheltenham every year and is a wonderful expression of all that can be good in Christian life and faith (and all the mistakes and stupidity that Christian's excell in too, but that is all lost in the creativity, the spirituality and the humanity of all that is there). I will say more on this at another time, as it is such a good thing and has had more effect on me than any other single thing in my Faith Journey) Well worth Checking out

Holy Joes is likewise a great expression of Faith which challenges, excites, infuriates and inspires as all expressions of faith should! It is a group of peopl who meet in a pub in London on a Tuesday evening and talk about faith - it is more than that too, but for starters that will do as an intro. Again, check out for worthwhile internet visitation

There are probably a few other things i should say, but i really must get back to work

Thinking out loud

After a couple of days of trying to get head together have decided to pop on line and say hello to my lovely blog... have fiddled around with settings, and downloaded picasa etc in order to post piccies (hence couple of postings just now with some pictures of my daughter and i from nearly three years ago)

Have discovered a tendency i have to want to express myself for good or bad in this blog - not that i am giving away deep dark secrets, but saying things without necessarly engaging the usual censor in my brain. I am determined to stick with this though, so bear with me.

Have that heartsickness today that can only come from feeling there is too much and i am too little - in a metaphysical sense, in the physical sense i could never be described as small!

I think this is the back to ministry after a couple of weeks break thing - working with people, and performing a role that is, above all, about the well-being of others can feel like quite a responsibility and coming back to that after a relatively carefree time feels like a heavy burden. I will feel a lot more energy and a lot more hope in a few days time when i have had a chance to settle in and remember what it is i am here for

something about god
something about love
something about serving
that keeps this all together

Before i went away i had something of a 'disconsolate' vibe going on, a sense of not quite being in the right soulspace, and i thought it might be to do with needing a break, but it is nestling in a place just below my heart and needs some attention. It isn't about unhappiness or fear, but a need to address a deeper reality about who i am and what i am supposed to be and to do.

Hmmmmm... I guess that this is me living up to my reputation as 'cheery, with bouts of deep thinking.' See what i mean about sharing without the censor?

If expressing such things could ever be a help to anyone then this is a good thing if not then i hope anyone who reads it can happily ignore it.

I guess i will go now, there is still work to be done and people to see.

this is me and babe close up

When my baby was very small!

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Back from away


back from hols - licking wounds? Anyway, on reading old blog wondered if i had said too much or been too introspective and decided that if i am going to give this blog a chance i have to be honest with how i feel as i go along...

honesty still best policy methinks, besides - i'm pretty sure that this goes out into ether anyway... if not then 'hello out there'

should probably say that issue with regards to last posting is in progress, at least in my head, and i am thinking about rights and wrongs of my reaction, as well as working on some moving on in that. where too next? We open ourselves up to others and are vulnerable and find that so much of what we do can be misunderstood. At the same time of course we misunderstand others and end up in a feedback loop, spiralling in against each other until something blows

it can be an instant - it can happen over years.

Enough deep stuff - bit of light heartedness to explain absence. I've been away for a couple of weeks for a holiday in France, and i've decided i am becoming a definite francophile. We always take our family hols in France. Actually, that in itself is a revelation - I am discovering the joys of being a 'family group' as trips abroad are now 'family holidays' - me and daughter Kat and wife jo (with bump).

So two weeks of sun, sand, spouse and small beautiful person. We did the usual 'Marche' thing that we do and went all round the region where we stayed in Britanny visiting most of the local markets. The fresh food in France is amazing, and being in a tent for two weeks meant that we enjoyed more meals out than we could afford and bought lots of treats which we considered necessary due to lack of amenities under canvas. I have a good grasp of that wonderful bastardisation of French and English known as 'Franglais' so whilst desperately trying to speak French i manage to cause great amusement to my hearer with my terrible pronunciation and inability to choose the right words.

Another revelation - not only do i want to write this book previously mentioned about philosophy and contemporary theology, i think i want to write a novel. As i sat on the westernmost tip of France (called the Cap du Raz) i had a moment which made me realise i too could write a novel - i was particularly inspired by a (very good) novel i had been reading called 'Astonishing splashes of colour' though i can't remember the author offhand - and it helped me to consider what my 'literary voice' might be.

If i get to write and publish i will let you know.

Anyway - great holiday, somewhat delayed by bad weather for Sea Crossing so ended up getting in at 5am this morning instead of 1am and haven't quite caught up yet. It is the 1.25 am now so really should get to bed.