Monday, January 28, 2008

Sad Vicar

Sometimes I am asked how those of us who offer bereavement care cope with all the sadness we encounter, and the short answer is we just do! I recognise the need to be the one who knows what is going on and whilst involved and concerned about the bereaved I also need a measure of detachment in order, to a certain extent, to facilitate and free up the grieving process for those left behind.

But it doesn't stop me feeling sad about losing folk. In the past few weeks we have had a sudden death, a relatively young death and today the death of an older (but not very old) man who was a real stalwart of the church in the village where he lived. We have had other deaths in the villages, and i have mentioned the number of funerals in every post recently, but some feel, as it were, more 'natural', whilst others I have felt quite affected by.

The loss of this very active, very committed church member today is one of those. I knew this person well, I was very fond of him - he was a genuinely good man, not a saint (and he wouldn't thank me for making him out to be so) but a good man! I will miss him.

Sometimes being a Vicar makes me sad.

4 comments:

Dr.John said...

I remember funerals like that. At one I even cried in the pulpit which is not a good thing to do. But he was a very good friend.
On a happier note I am finally getting around to ordering some of the books you recommended in November.Nobody said I was fast.

quilly said...

Did you know that the other day when I read your post about all the funerals I added your name to my prayer list? I know it is hard to be strong for others when you are hurting yourself. Don't forget to allow yourself to grieve, even in instances when you can't do so in public.

Naomi said...

People forget sometimes that even though you are a Vicar, you are human too and feel emotions like other people do. It must be very difficult when you encounter a bereavement like this, especially if it's someone you know well in the parish. However strong you are, you can't always detach yourself from the emotions you feel. You're human and you're allowed to grieve too Alastair. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It sounds like you do a great job in your parish. I'm sure your parishioners wouldn't think any less of you for expressing your emotion at the loss of someone you hold dear.

Marion said...

My sympathies, Alastair...it is so difficult to be strong for others at all times...I hope you let yourself express emotions...it's so important for well-being.