No, this post title isn't an allusion to my recent approach to blogging. Just a desire to share something from this morning which has pretty much left me wordless.
not a bad thing, really!
I'm good at talking things through, I can intellectualise, theorise, spiritualise and ...ise generally over many things, including some of the deeper things of life!
But words can also be a defence against truly engaging with some deeper meanings too.
This week I am engaged on a prayer pilgrimage arranged by one of our local clergy. I went along with the idea partly because, in theory, it seemed like a good idea, and not having seen my spiritual director for far too long I thought the opportunity to reflect with someone about prayer in general and my own spiritual life would not be a bad idea. I should say that this prayer pilgrimage is not actually a physical pilgrimage, except travelling to the venue to meet with a prayer guide. It's setting aside half an hour a day for a week to meet with a prayer guide and to talk, reflect, listen, learn.
So I had my first meeting today.
As I said, the initial impetus for joining in with this was a very general 'seems like a good idea' vibe, but as it grew closer I wondered what I was letting myself in for and what I was doing signing up for this, I mean its not like my life is terribly unbusy at the moment, really.
So I went to see this guide, and the first twenty minutes or so were me talking about my background, some of my recent experience, some of the obstacles I feel in my prayer life etc etc, lots of words. I'm good at words. I won't go into the content as it was, firstly, confidential, and secondly not completely relevant. What is relevant, though, is that my guide said something which was really quite simple, and all of a sudden there was this amazing sense of God in that room, and we were both stunned into silence. What she had said chimed with a half remembered dream from last night, not something we had been talking about, and it suddenly hit us both that God was trying to say something.
And we sat in silence for just a minute or two. But in that silence something happened which was profound and powerful and moving, and amazing and gracefilled
So I'll stop there, except to say it's one of the most amazing silences of my life