Saving myself
Might be shooting myself in the foot by putting off all those of you who are kind enough to pop by here on a relatively regular basis, but i've not been blogging because I plan to do lots of it in November! With all the usual busy-ness of life it seemed easier to let the blog slide for a bit before the mad spate of writing in a couple of weeks.
It's been a very good few weeks. I'm in the midst of taking stock of where I am and what I'm doing here... The kind of thing a minister should do on an almost daily basis, but we often career headlong through life trying to keep up with ourselves and don't reflect and contemplate anything like as much as we should.
There is an Irony in this, because I seem to spend so much time telling people to chill out - encouraging prayerful reflection on life, whilst at the same time finding myself living at high speed. The circumstances of the last year or so haven't helped, with one colleague on long term sick leave and another taking maternity leave, whilst lots of (often very good) things have been happening which have needed time and nurture from me.
In my defence, I do still take time to read and to pray, its not that I am a complete hypocrite! We all need some stillness, no matter how gregarious and energetic we are by nature. I'm struck by Elijah whose experience of God in 1 KIngs 19 was not that God was found in the whirlwind or earthquake or storm, but in the 'still, small voice'. Though we believe that God is present in all things, even in the storm, there are times when we need to stop and listen for that whisper of God amidst the maelstrom of life...
So, having recently received from my Bishop a license to minister in these parishes for another seven years, i have been wondering whether that's what I should be doing! Not just because I am bloody-minded, but because it is easy to become complacent, comfortable in the familiar, even though life can be hard and the work almost constant! I love these parishes I serve, my wife and family love living here, but as part of my process of reflection I need to ask whether this place is the right place, and whether I am the right person to minister to these parishes at this time.
Hence a lack of blogging. Most of my musing at this stage is an internal thing, not an 'out there' thing, and so much of it is not really for public consumption. Perhaps some of the thoughts of this past few weeks will come out during my NaBloPoMo, perhaps not...
I'll try not to leave it a week before I post again, though.
It's been a very good few weeks. I'm in the midst of taking stock of where I am and what I'm doing here... The kind of thing a minister should do on an almost daily basis, but we often career headlong through life trying to keep up with ourselves and don't reflect and contemplate anything like as much as we should.
There is an Irony in this, because I seem to spend so much time telling people to chill out - encouraging prayerful reflection on life, whilst at the same time finding myself living at high speed. The circumstances of the last year or so haven't helped, with one colleague on long term sick leave and another taking maternity leave, whilst lots of (often very good) things have been happening which have needed time and nurture from me.
In my defence, I do still take time to read and to pray, its not that I am a complete hypocrite! We all need some stillness, no matter how gregarious and energetic we are by nature. I'm struck by Elijah whose experience of God in 1 KIngs 19 was not that God was found in the whirlwind or earthquake or storm, but in the 'still, small voice'. Though we believe that God is present in all things, even in the storm, there are times when we need to stop and listen for that whisper of God amidst the maelstrom of life...
So, having recently received from my Bishop a license to minister in these parishes for another seven years, i have been wondering whether that's what I should be doing! Not just because I am bloody-minded, but because it is easy to become complacent, comfortable in the familiar, even though life can be hard and the work almost constant! I love these parishes I serve, my wife and family love living here, but as part of my process of reflection I need to ask whether this place is the right place, and whether I am the right person to minister to these parishes at this time.
Hence a lack of blogging. Most of my musing at this stage is an internal thing, not an 'out there' thing, and so much of it is not really for public consumption. Perhaps some of the thoughts of this past few weeks will come out during my NaBloPoMo, perhaps not...
I'll try not to leave it a week before I post again, though.
Comments
I think it's great that you recognize it within yourself, and are willing to do the work required to find out what you need.
I like to think it's like that with God's plan. Most of the time we are right up against the canvas, because we are living life... and we cannot see how the short term things we are doing fit into God's plan.... but sometimes God in his grace grants us the opportunity to step back and hear him whispering where we fit in with regard to the big picture.
It's interesting you spoke of the situation with Elijah as well, because at the point you described him... he had just comed down from an incredibly powerful high moment in his prophetical calling... and yet he felt so dejected. God met him where he was, reaffirmed his calling and gave him new challenges/responsibilities.
I've always been comforted by God's provision to elijah just before that passage:
"Get up, eat, drink for the journey is too much for you."
I felt I should pray for you a couple of weeks ago... so I did, just though yopu should know.